


Signs for a Marriage

by angelcj



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, Fake Marriage, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, RvB AU, Strangers to Lovers, Tucker has a son
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 13:14:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30123294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcj/pseuds/angelcj
Summary: Tucker isn’t homeless. He’s living out of his best friend’s basement, thank you very much.In other words, how Tucker used Craigslist to fall in love.
Relationships: Lavernius Tucker/Agent Washington, Leonard L. Church | AI Program Alpha/Agent Texas | AI Program Beta
Kudos: 3





	Signs for a Marriage

Tucker isn’t homeless. He’s living out of his best friend’s basement, thank you very much. It’s like living out of your parent’s basement, but better. Unfortunately, in the eyes of the law, that signifies as homeless, especially if you’re not paying rent. What? Looking for jobs is hard in general, and looking for open positions as a pastry chef is worse.  
“Dude! Come on, it’s time to go!” Church banged on the basement door as Tucker adjusted his tie. Dreadlocks and a suit was a great look, he’ll be the first to admit, and he wanted to see his son more often than twice a month.  
“Alright, alright, I’m ready.” He looked once more in the mirror, sighing, and headed up the stairs.  
…  
“Mr. Tucker, I’ll admit, you have improved in the past few months. However, you haven’t achieved all the requirements necessary. You don’t have a job, you’re not in a stable state of mind, and you don’t have a home of your own. You don’t even have a partner to vouch for you!”  
The judge finished, eyes tired from repeating the same speech over and over again.  
“Yes! Uh- yes I do. I do have a partner. We’re getting married in a month.” Tucker’s mouth went dry the second the lie was spoken. The judge cocked an eyebrow as Tucker fidgeted with the cuffs of his shirt. “Yes. His name is David.”  
Tucker glanced to the side as Church slumped down in his chair. The judge sighed and sat back in his chair.  
“Mr. Tucker, you have a partner?”  
“Yes. Yes I do.”  
“In the interest of keeping this meeting short, I’ll believe you. Bring this, I suppose, David, to our next hearing. I would indeed like to meet him. Dismissed!”  
Tucker turned to leave, Church standing and walking with him. Church waved his hand as Tucker opened his mouth. “I do not want to hear it. Tell me in the car.”  
Tucker lifted his hands.  
“I don’t want to see it either!”  
...  
“Jesus Christ, where am I going to find someone named David willing to marry me?” Tucker groaned, head in his hands.  
“Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to know?” Church slammed the cupboards shut. “That was your dumbass decision, fucknut.”  
“Do I just take out an ad on Craigslist? ‘Need man named David. Must be single. Must be named David. Has to be okay with being married in a month.’ I don’t even have any skills!”  
“That’s not true. You bake. You can speak sign language.” Church ticked off the skills on his fingers. “You’re an awesome dad. You make awesome cupcakes. And cakes. And-”  
“I get it, I get it. I’m NOT writing up a Craigslist want ad for a HUSBAND.”  
...  
“Hello? Hi. My name’s David Washington. I saw your ad, and I thought what the hell. I’m a veteran, if that makes any difference. I lost the hearing in one ear to an IED and was sent home. I have a two-bedroom apartment, I guess. I’ll marry you. If you want.”  
The voicemail ended. Church and Tucker stared.  
“Holy shit.”  
“Shut up, Church.”  
“Someone actually responded.”  
“Shut UP, Church!”  
Church sat back in his chair. “Holy shit. Are you gonna take him up?”  
“God. I guess I have to.”  
“Well! Call him up!”  
Tucker picked up his phone. He’d never heard of this Washington before. “He could be a creep, or someone who’ll try to sleep with me on the first date.”  
“Tucker, you sleep with people on the first date.”  
“That’s fair.”  
Church stood, stretched, and moved to grab his laptop. “I’ll Google him. You call him.”  
Tucker paced across the room. “What if he’s bad for Junior? What if he’s going to kill me?”  
Church threw a tissue box at him. “Less pacing, more calling your hubby.”  
Tucker’s hands shook as he looked at the number. Was this something he really wanted to do? Was he willing to get fake — no, real — married to someone he’d never met before? What about Junior? Would he be okay with this?  
“Dude, stop your thinking, just do.” Church’s sarcasm rang out. Tucker hit the call back button, and someone else picked up on the third ring.  
“Hello, is this David Washington?” Tucker pressed a hand against his forehead, rubbing the space between his eyebrows. This call alone gave him a migraine.  
“This is he. May I ask who is speaking?”  
For what it’s worth, he has a nice voice, Tucker thought to himself.  
“I’m Tucker. Uh, HeychickaTuckTuck? From Craigslist.”  
“Oh, yeah, the guy wanting a husband. You know, that add would’ve been better on Tinder or Grindr or something.”  
Tucker snorted. “You know, I thought about it, but you get creeps on those apps.” The voice on the other end of the line went deadly serious.  
“How do you know I’m not a creep?”  
Tucker sighed. “Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to know? I’m putting my blind trust in someone to be the stepfather to my son. I’m in deep shit, you know?”  
The other end was silent.  
“Hello? Wash?”  
“I’ll do it on two conditions.”  
“Shoot.”  
“One, I meet your son before we get married-”  
“Done.”  
“-Two, you make cupcakes once a week.”  
“For you, dude, I’ll be your housewife. Thank you. I owe you.”  
“When do you have your son next?”  
“Friday. You free at 4?”  
Tucker ran through his list of things to do. “Yes, I believe so. I pick up Junior at three from kindergarten, so how do you feel about ice cream?”  
“Ice cream?”  
“I won’t be making it, it’s a lot of work and very expensive, and the place I know is cheap and good. I’ll text you the address.”  
“Sounds good. Hey, is Tucker your first or your last name?”  
“Last. Is Washington your real last name?”  
“Yes, it is. What’s your first name?”  
“[Redacted]”  
“How did you say that out loud?”  
“I’ll text you the address dude. I’ll propose to you there, too.”  
“Sounds good.”  
...  
Tucker sat back. In about four days, he’d gone from being a single father, to lying about having a fiancé in COURT, to writing an ad on Craigslist for a husband, to thinking about a proposal.  
“Church, what should I do?”  
“Man, I don’t know. It’s not like I’m married or anything.”  
“Chucklefuck, you’re dating someone who could crush my skull with her thighs. You have thought about proposals before.”  
“Yeah, but, like, in a fancy restaurant. After months of dating! Not some dude you met on Craigslist.”  
“Okay, his name is David, get it right.”  
“Fine, not engaged to some DAVID you met on Craigslist.”  
Tucker leaped up from the chair — more exercise than he’s done in a while, to be fair — and charged at Church, who let out a yelp.  
“Hey!”  
Tucker, running on the pure, raw, chaotic adrenaline that flowed through his veins, hopped on Church’s back, wrapping his arms around his neck. The two froze as the doorbell rang. Tucker slowly slid down Church’s back.  
“You expecting anyone?”  
“No, I’m meeting Washington tomorrow after I pick up Junior.”  
The two moved towards the door as one, Church slamming into the wall.  
“Church, dude, come on, you need glasses.”  
“Shut the fuck up Tucker, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
The two continued their motion towards the door when there was a pounding at the door. A feminine yet aggressive voice yelled out.  
“Hey, are you two done fucking around? Lav, I bought you your engagement ring. You owe me cupcakes.”  
Tucker moved for the door.  
“Tex, I definitely owe you cupcakes. What’s your favorite flavor? I’ll make them right now.”  
The woman who could crush a man’s skull with her thighs was leaning against the doorway, eyes partially hidden by a camouflage patrol cap. “It’s lemon with a raspberry frosting. Get started. I got the ring that had a ruby heart in it.”  
“Aww, Tex, your love for me is finally showing! Bow chicka bow wow.”  
Tex easily punched the man in the face.  
“Hey! Okay, okay, I’ll leave you alone.”  
Tex pushed her way in, stopping to give Church a kiss on the cheek. “Hi boy, how are you?”  
“Well, my dumbass friend over here got himself a husband, so…” Church wrapped his arms around Tex, pulling her tight. “I love you.”  
“I love you too. Hey, dumbass friend? Get started on those cupcakes.”  
Tucker gave her a mock salute as he tied on an apron, moving hurriedly as he rushed to find ingredients.  
“Hey, asshole!” Church yelled, not letting go of Tex. “Pay me back for the shit you’re using!”  
Tucker gestured with a wooden spoon. “I’ll let you lick the bowl, how about that?”  
Church considered for a minute, and then let it go. Tex patted his cheek. “Come on, we have some things to talk about.”  
Tex and Church left the room, slipping into Church’s room. Tucker shrugged, pausing from his cooking to yell out “Alexa, play the Police!”  
“Calling the Police.”  
“NO!”  
“Shuffling songs by the Police.”  
Tucker sighed a sigh of relief. He swirled batter around in a bowl, flashing back to his time in the Culinary Institute, the rush and thrill of meeting new friends, the shame when he was yelled at by the man in charge, only known as Sarge. Not Chef, not Chef Sarge, just Sarge. And man, was that man scary when he yelled. 

He hummed along to Roxanne as he preheated the oven before spinning to pull out cupcake liners. He scooped the batter into the liners, then paused, and moved and peered into the fridge, rummaging around to find raspberries. He pulled out the package, considered, and set the pack aside. He put the cupcakes into the oven and set a timer, then grabbed the bowl and headed down to Church’s room.  
Tucker boogied to Don’t Stand So Close To Me as he came to a halt in front of Church’s door, hand raised to knock, when he paused at the gentle tones.  
“He’s not dangerous, he’s just… hurt. As far as I can tell, the entire thing was a training accident.”  
“And it has nothing to do with Caro?”  
“Nothing at all. However, we’re waiting on her to reach that conclusion.”  
“Fuck.”  
Tucker chose this time to barge unceremoniously into the room. “Hello all, it is me, your savior.”  
“Dude, get the fuck out of my room!”  
“I brought you the bowl.”  
“You’re accepted.”  
Tucker handed the bowl to Church before turning to exit the room. “I’m working on the frosting now. Tex, if you would abstain from beating me up today, that’d be great.”  
Tex let out a ghost of a smile. “For today only.”  
“Thank you.”

Tucker closed the door on the way out, pausing at the end of the hallway like someone in a Folgers Coffee Crystals commercial.  
Church never talks like that when Tex isn’t here, he thought. He shrugged and headed down the hallway, taking his time whipping up the raspberry frosting that Tex requested. While working, he began thinking about his soon to be fiancé, David. Hopefully, David would be nothing like the dad that gave Tucker his ridiculous name and then walked out years later after being an abusive piece of shit to his mom and himself.  
He pulled the cupcakes out of the oven and set them up to cool, then moved back to the frosting, adding a few drops of red food dye to turn the frosting pink. He sat checking his phone as he let the cupcakes cool, when he got a message.  
[Unknown Number]: Hey, it’s David  
[Unknown Number]: The guy you’re proposing to tomorrow.  
Tucker smiled, then sent a quick reply.  
[Tucker, L]: Yeah, I got that.  
[Tucker, L]: I’m gonna call you Wash, is that cool?  
[Unknown Number]: Yeah, that’s fine. What’s the plan for tomorrow?  
[Tucker, L]: We go to Ye Olde Icee Creame Shoppe around four, you meet Junior. Then I propose to you.  
[Wash]: How are you gonna propose to me?  
[Tucker, L]: You’ll see ;))  
Tucker set down his phone and piped the frosting onto the cupcakes, then washed the raspberries and placed one on top of the point of the frosting. His masterpiece was finished. He looked over at the phone and saw an unread message:  
[Wash]: You better not propose to me the way I think you’re going to  
[Tucker, L]: youbetterstop.gif  
[Wash]: yOu BeTtEr StOp  
[Tucker, L]: fifteencars.gif  
[Wash]: isthisapigeon.jpg  
Tucker smiled, then texted a final reply.  
[Tucker, L]: gotta go for now. Paying back this mean woman who’ll kill me if I don’t give her cupcakes.  
The reply came seconds later.  
[Wash]: Be safe, don’t die, and don’t get lost.  
Tucker smiled and set down the phone before whisking off two cupcakes. He barged in without listening at the door, presenting the lemon-raspberry cupcakes with a flourish to Tex and Church who had obviously jumped apart awkwardly seconds before Tucker came in.  
“I brought you your cupcakes, m’lady. There’s more on the stove.” Tucker bowed and handed one cupcake to Tex and the other to Church. Church sighed and awkwardly moved back to Tex as she grabbed the two cupcakes.  
“I’ll take it this time. Next time, my expectations will be harsher.”  
Tucker tipped an imaginary fedora.  
“Thank you, m’lady.”  
Tucker left the room, feeling only slightly awkward after walking in on Church and Tex.  
****  
“Daddy!” Junior raced out of school towards Tucker, his arms wide open and lunchbox flailing from his hands and a huge smile revealing two missing teeth. “Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy!”  
Tucker smiled and let out an ‘oof’ as Junior collided with him. “Hey buddy, how are you?” He scooped up the five-year-old and took in the babble about kids in his class, his teacher, and how he could count to one hundred now.  
“That’s pretty cool, buddy. Want to tell me all about it on the way to the ice cream shop?” Tucker laughed as Junior cheered, holding him close. He had missed the feeling of holding his son.  
“Hey, Junior? You’re gonna meet someone very important to me today, okay?” Junior’s face screwed up, making eye contact with his dad through the rearview window.  
“Some’ne special?”  
“Mm-hmm. His name’s David, but I call him Wash.”  
“Oh! Mommy told me about him.” Tucker nodded to himself. He’d known that Des would do that.  
“Mommy says he’s a pay-per-order.”  
Tucker slammed the breaks, hearing a complaint from Junior. What the fuck, Des.  
“Ow, Daddy, that hurt!”  
“I… I’m sorry, Junior, I wasn’t thinking.”  
“That’s okay Daddy. Mommy says you don’t think a lot, but I think you do. You remember to pick me up all the time when it’s your turn, you don’t forget like Mommy and Uncle Caboose.”  
"Ah, well you can tell Mommy that she's gained a lot of weight since we separated and her parents are overbearing pricks who don't know how to hold an adult conversation," Tucker murmured under his breath, making a sharp turn across three lanes of traffic.  
“Well, Wash is very special to me. I’m gonna do something very important today, okay?”  
“Mmkay Daddy. What’re you gonna do?”  
“I’m gonna ask Wash to be my… special friend.”  
“Like in that kazoo video we watched?”  
“Kind of. I’m gonna ask him to live with me forever because he makes me happy. But you can’t say a word, okay? It’s gotta be a secret.”  
“A secret?”  
“Yes, I’m gonna surprise him, so you can’t say a word.”  
“Okay Daddy. Not a word, I promise. And his name is Wash?”  
“It’s short for Washington.”  
Junior let out a small laugh. “He’s named Washingtub?”  
Tucker thought hard, then replied: “Yes. It’s a very silly name, don’t you think?”  
“Very silly. Who’s named Washingtub?”  
“You’re named after your Uncle Caboose.”  
“Is that why you call me Junior?”  
“Yes. Your Mommy, Des, thought you should be named after me, [Redacted]. But that’s a sillier name.”  
“You have a silly name Daddy.”  
Tucker pulled into the parking lot of Ye Olde Icee Creame Shoppe. “Hey buddy, we’re here!”

The shop, despite the name, held no resemblance to the shops of old. Instead, the outside was pink, with two scoops of ice cream surrounding the nameplate, which had a cherry at the end. Junior cheered as Tucker parked the car, exiting the vehicle and opening Junior’s door to the excited child. “What do you think you’ll get?”  
Junior talked excitedly, describing the flavors and flavor combinations that he wanted to try. Tucker smiled down at his son and brought him up to the counter to order.  
“I wanna cotton candy pink va-nil-la swirl! With sprinkles!” Tucker smoothed Junior’s hair, watching the lady behind the counter smile as Junior bounced, full of energy.  
“What size?” The lady asked Tucker, who looked at the child.  
“I think we’ll go for a medium.”  
The lady widened her eyes, looking at Junior. “Wow! A whole medium just for you!” Junior’s smile widened, wriggling with excitement.  
“Really Daddy? I can?” Tucker nodded, and Junior bounced with excitement.  
“Tucker?”  
Tucker turned, seeing a tall, blond man with blue eyes and a smile. A scar stretched across his nose, up his cheek, and to his ear before coming to a halt under his hair. Tucker patted Junior on the back before nodding at the worker to make the ice cream.  
“Wash!” Tucker walked over to Wash, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s neck.  
“You didn’t tell me you were tall,” Tucker whispered into Wash’s ear.  
“You didn’t tell me you were short,” Wash replied, giving Tucker a final squeeze. When Tucker turned back, Junior was receiving his bowl of ice cream and turning with wide eyes.  
“Daddy? Is that Washingtub?”  
Wash tensed next to Tucker. “God, I thought I’d escape that after PFL,” He whispered quietly before bending down to Junior.  
“Hi, buddy, I’ve heard a lot about you.”  
Junior looked up at him and, with as much of a solemn face as a five year old could muster, asked, “Is your name really Washingtub?”  
Tucker cracked up.  
Wash sighed but let out a small smile. “No, my name’s really David Washington. But your Papa here calls me Wash.”  
Junior nodded his head. “Mommy and Daddy call me Junior even though my name is Michael. I’m named after my Uncle Caboose, who’s name is Michael James Caboose. I call him Uncle Caboose though ‘cause he’s my Uncle and I like the name Caboose. It reminds me of a train. Trains are neat.”  
Tucker nodded towards the ice cream, and Wash mouthed for a pink champagne, size small. Wash took Junior’s hand and walked him over to a booth, listening to him ramble.  
“Trains are cool and all but I think rockets are better,” Junior continued, content to have someone to listen. “Rockets and space and stars and planets! Did you know that there’s a HUGE thing up in space called the inter… inter-nattonal space station!”  
Wash smiled at the child, offering a hand for a high five and receiving a great smack. “That’s some great pronunciation, buddy! You’re doing amazing!”  
Junior bounced and wriggled in his seat, getting a spoonful of ice cream and shoving it in his mouth. “I gof cotton-candy fink-vanilla swirl! What are you gonna get?”  
Tucker slid into the booth oh the other side of Junior. “He got some pink champagne and I got bubblegum,” Tucker winked at Junior. “Wash, yours has a special surprise.”  
Junior smiled through a mouthful of ice cream, scooping another mouthful in and turning his gaze to Wash. Wash cocked an eyebrow, looking at Junior to Tucker back to Junior. He looked at his ice cream and gasped. His gasp was very realistic, Tucker noted. I’ll give him that.  
Wash looked at Tucker with tears in his eyes. “Is this…” he trailed off as Tucker got up and kneeled next to Wash.  
The ring Tex had bought was sticking out of the top of the ice cream, with “Marry Me?” written in white chocolate syrup under it. Wash placed a hand over his mouth to cover a sob.  
“David Washington, you’ve been with me through hard times and nursery rhymes, through fights and feelings, and through sickness and health. I want to spend all of my life with you, I want the slow Sunday mornings and the drunk nights and talks. I want the good, the bad, the ugly. I want you. Will you marry me?”  
Wash choked back his sobs as he nodded. “Yes. yes, yes!” He threw his arms around Tucker and squeezed him tight.  
Junior clapped his sticky hands.  
Wash pulled back from Tucker and cupped his cheeks with his hands. “I love you,” he murmured as he leaned forward to kiss Tucker. Tucker turned his head to kiss him, a quick, awkward brush of the lips. Wash pulled back and smiled nonchalantly as he sat back and adjusted the ring on his finger. “It’s beautiful, hun. I love it. I love you.”  
Tucker slid into the booth, sitting on the other side of Junior, leaving the child sandwiched between the “couple.” The ice cream shop hummed with a suppressed silence before bursting with noise. Junior dug into his ice cream as the newly engaged couple eyed each other with barely concealed wariness.  
“Well, congrats you two.” The woman had left from behind the counter and approached the table. “See, I’d say if I’d known this was happening, I would’ve put your ice cream on the house, but I knew it was coming, so I did.” She beamed down at the sight of Junior looking up with pink ice cream on his face. “My name’s CT. I’m a good friend of Washington here. I’m surprised he never mentioned you before, uhm?”  
“Tucker. Just Tucker. We, uh, we kept our relationship a secret because…”  
“Because of his ex!” Wash blurted. “If she’d known we were dating, she would’ve taken time away from Tucker seeing Junior, and, uh…” his voice trailed off and his eyes grew panicked as he searched for his next words. “And I never met Junior till now because…”  
“I can’t keep secrets from Mommy.” Junior smiled up at Connie, revealing two missing teeth. “But now Daddy and Washingtub are super special friends and I can tell whoever I want, right Daddy?” Junior finished his sentence, tugging on Tucker’s shirt with a sticky pink hand.  
“Right buddy.” Tucker winced internally at the sticky hand, but wrapped an arm around his son. “Even if your mom doesn’t like it.”  
“Well, that’s adorable and all, but my shift isn’t over yet. Wash, I’ll see you around, Tucker I guess you too. Enjoy your ice cream.” With that, CT turned tail and walked back to the counter, tapping the teenager who’d stepped in to replace her on the shoulder.  
Washington turned to Tucker.  
“Well, here’s to the start of forever.”  
“Cheers!”


End file.
